jakemalik:

don’t u try and lie to me and say u don’t like one of your pillows more than the others

(Source: hi)

fvming:

If only I was given a dollar for every time I made myself look stupid in front of a cute person

jewishsanta:

when books make you cry like fuck you book you’re a stack of paper

yerawizardbarry:

when you need to cough in an exam but you’ve already coughed like twice so you just sit there suffocating

framewxrk:

too lazy to masturbate can you do it for me